Life is just like fruit.

Another one bites the dust. Child's play. Trust?  What's that? Constantly falling short.  Wildin. Steady.  Awkward silence.  Fighting for peace. Within.  It's so cold on these many nights.  Lonely but not alone.  In this house I don't feel like I'm home. Falling short again.  On my own. Witty words. I've suffered in silence. I stopped talking. I stopped talking to everyone. Why talk when no one listens. I isolated myself. Lost. I suffered in pain. Every pain, trauma, experience and bad choice became magnified.  Hyper focused. The stakes were high.  Higher than my standards.  Higher than peoples noses. Higher  Than I've ever been.  Better than my taste in men. I burned the stakes. I burnt at the stake.  A fall from grace. An unfinished race. Set an unreachable pace. Wept for a thousand miles. Went through thousands of trials. Slept in denial. Slept with denial. My enemy absorbed my energy. I turned to dust. Frienemy  The house I built inside of myself was blo...

The pressure never lets up It just changes Changes me Change you can see Parenting is the hardest job on the planet Self love comes in as a tie Soul tie Running outta time Can't change the past It all comes rushing back Flash back Love them Coulda done better Tryin not to be bitter Trying to be better To be better to me Then I can be better to them For them You can't give what you don't have That's not an excuse We have to grow You have to seek truth It's not given to you Sometimes it finds you In a lesson Petal to the metal Car slams into the brick wall You're not oblivious You just weren't curious It's important to know where you lack In order to change In order to build Then hopefully break the cycle Breaking the cycle is the hardest part of it all Let's be real Authenticity Broken black families. Broken black homes. If I would have known better I would have done better By the time I woke up You don't see me You ain't feeling me It was too...

Pull the trigger Blacked out Not calling you Surrendering All these pills out Can't pass out Can't cash out Fuck calling you Numbed up Drugged up What am I hanging on too? Sober, staying true I wonder if that will bring me hope too Just wanna let go Got the hammer out Spin the wheel Still here I dont feel me Close my eyes Lose control Mix the G up Hustle bitch gotta Survive Do I cock it back? Where's the syrup at Pimpin never fuckin slipping Stay high Lifted Let it fly Stars fill my eyes Dropped out College stuck up Atmosphere Who do you see When you look at me I dont wanna be a Killer Black Widow Are you dying No brain activity Baddest bitch Always will be Side effects of a hoe No, not me You though Shut your mouth Vengeance Shame Anger See right through you Been running so long I'm so damn tired Body drop All I had Gave all I had to all I've had I have no more to give Never alone Always lonely Don't be like me Jaded Drowning Demons Bent on Disconnected Discon...

Send fire into your heart Spark your soul Can you look at yourself When you take off the mask Do you care Do you feel alone Are you searching for something Something that remains unknown We all have our transgressions We all have secrets We all have that in common Behaving one way in front of certain people Then, another way in front of others No, I'm real No one has to ask me Who are you now It has cost me friends and family It's taught me I never gave one single fuck When sometimes I should have When sometimes I shouldn't have and still did I've always been me I stand on who I am Realer, Trill, Savage as fuck, Big bitch, Teddy Bear, Rose with thorns It's cost me I'm not trippin It's worth it Teaching my boys to be fully themselves without compromise I ain't raised no punks Strong, Beasts, Genuine Geniuses It's the greatest gift They know that I accept them completely Soldiers Shit pops off They will not crumble or fold Parents always say they got t...

Days toll on Nights sullen Never on my own Alone all of the time Should have changed Importance placed the blame on my name Faces that surround me Require the most from me I see them surround me I cant hear them The storm is getting too loud I feel nothing Disappointments fueled by animosity Such a sunny summer day or I think it used to be My storm is in the way Stop incoming tragedy I look up into the faces of my children I should have been easier on you Shoulda been easier on me Middle finger to my 40th birthday Storm rages Penning pages Time passed so quickly Diamonds fall from mouths speaking to me Nevermind, I'm sorry those are only atrocities It was change I've wanted change so badly That I fell apart On the ground picking up my shattered disaster Adjusted responses Tweaked my inner Demons Turned um into Monsters Bent them Forcing them around pain It's suffocating in here Storming inside me Beating me Annihilating my sensitivity Beatiful misery Beating the fuck o...

Moon whispered to the sun in near silent reverie. “I wish you were closer. I wish I could be closer to you. I lose you all the time. I feel like it’s forever. Just a part of me is graced with your light. I’m so hot yet so very cold and I’m nothing like those closer to you. Why was I pushed so very far from you? Other planets, moons and some stars must feel the same. There has to be a way for me to be closer to you. I’m your slave and at your mercy. I’m only teased with your affection. The Sun probably doesn’t even know I’m here. Ah to be like Mars and be so close. To feel so much more than just me, a little moon.”     Sadness gripped the moon. An eternity without being noticed by the brilliantly blazing gas giant felt like Moons creation meant nothing. Yes, Moon had stars, had the earth but Moon wanted so desperately to feel the Suns presence like those before it. At times Moon laid in complete darkness and cold. During this period it felt especially alone. Much time had pas...

Orbiting devastation. My hushed prowess became bridged into intimate obsession with damnation. You'll miss me when I've gone Promising in tears you'll drown My Nemesis prolific creation An esoteric divinity designed my comeuppance  Retributions such a natural beauty while burgeoning visceral calamity  Cool calm calculations passed away from me alongside shooting stars inside my burning scars  Running as I always do  Away quickly from my closest enemy Me.  Self Metamorphosis barreling brilliantly into unknown constellations  Selfish saboteur entering an atmosphere so unclear  Immature emotions, misguided misgivings Silenced by all transgressions Transgressions breed a transportation into another space and time When apologies are the sharp edges of an altered version of a earth reality once known Self destructing edges have been bleeding since the beginning of the beginning  Suffering with a disease called the Nothing Suddenly a creature came bursting from a pyres fire A co...