Life is just like fruit.

Moon whispered to the sun in near silent reverie. “I wish you were closer. I wish I could be closer to you. I lose you all the time. I feel like it’s forever. Just a part of me is graced with your light. I’m so hot yet so very cold and I’m nothing like those closer to you. Why was I pushed so very far from you? Other planets, moons and some stars must feel the same. There has to be a way for me to be closer to you. I’m your slave and at your mercy. I’m only teased with your affection. The Sun probably doesn’t even know I’m here. Ah to be like Mars and be so close. To feel so much more than just me, a little moon.”     Sadness gripped the moon. An eternity without being noticed by the brilliantly blazing gas giant felt like Moons creation meant nothing. Yes, Moon had stars, had the earth but Moon wanted so desperately to feel the Suns presence like those before it. At times Moon laid in complete darkness and cold. During this period it felt especially alone. Much time had pas...

Gonna stop breathin.........Sickin, to my depth within.......All the damn constant beggin.......Always askin.......Buggin......Raggin me ........Under my skin, gettin me........Deep crawlin inside me.........Cause its only them tryin.....To keep me cryin.......Just to keep them fly ......highin.......Constantly wantin......Materialistic bullshit somethin.......I am straight strugglin.....Financially jugglin......My poor heartstrings they keep yankin, pullin.....They just cant keep it coolin......Thinkin i'm straight foolin.....These kids are trippin......My damn Moms is flippin.......Ain't no still waters, they still runnin.......Like I'm expected to........I keep fallin.......Never felt less than......I do now......I'm never losin my coolin.....I did that before ......it did nothin but run my ship ashore ........Yet they still wantin more......The bar was set far too high......I did NOT set that shit, did I?.....It's a massive hole......I keep stallin.....backwards...

Choices. I've made many. Regretted most. Falling too deep and allowing too much. Allowing, painful experiences to over rule my opportunity to be vulnerable. Then because of that, I block myself off due to feeling like I am bracing for an disastrous impact. I liken it to the experience of when a plane suddenly begins spiraling and plummeting towards the ever closer ground. Descending, falling from the sky. A desperate warning forgotten within chaos. Fully encompassed with the terror of the inevitable coming to the worst most unimaginable end. Yet and still I put childish things aside when I became a woman. The pain of losing everything you've wanted and worked for is full of despair. Being here is what I came for? No, this isn't what I signed up for, not heartbreaking with a side of gut wrenching failure. However, this is what I've asked for. I guess setting myself up for utter collapse is something I've always been good at. Recovering is something I've nev...